Babies and Drunks

David has been noticing how closely babies resemble drunks...
------------------------------------------------

• Babies and drunks both have very little control of their head. Basically, they look like bobble heads


• The stupider something is, the funnier they think it is.


• They will laugh uncontrollably, followed immediately by throwing up


• When they talk, they only use vowels: aaaooooiieeeaaauuuuiiiiioooeeeiia and sometimes Y


• They love everybody most of the time but their mood can change at the drop of a hat.


• They will both put absolutely anything in their mouth.


• Eventually, no matter where they are, they are just going to fall asleep.


• When they do finally fall asleep, everyone makes sure they stay asleep.


• More than likely, they will wake up in a place different from where they fell asleep, oftentimes behind bars and covered in their own urine.

Who knew being the only non-drinker in a fraternity would prepare me for fatherhood?