Out on the town with Daddy

Note from Jen: David is 6'3", and it is quite a sight to see him carry a tiny baby of approximately 12 pounds. (p.s. David likes to call Cameron Xander, after one of the heroes in his all-time favorite series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Sunday afternoon and it’s just Xander and I hanging out and being lazy. We can’t get dressed because Jen forgot to lay out clothes (mine not Xanders). Yep we have been abandoned and must fend for ourselves for over 3 hours!!!!! Since we can’t get dressed we can’t go out. Since we can’t go out I can’t use my Blanche Dubois method of childcare. “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”. I discovered this about two weeks ago when Jen left us alone for the first time. My plan was to lay Xander on the floor, sprinkle some popcorn and peanuts around him so he could eat whenever he was hungry, and turn the TV on for both of our entertainment. When I told Jen my plan I got a stern talking to. I don’t remember the whole thing (a “Three Stooges” Marathon had most of my attention at the time. But I think it went something like “Blah blah blah choking hazard. Blah blah blah alergies . Blah blah blah quality time”. So instead Xander and I ran some errands. First we went to get a haircut. I made sure he was fed and rested before we started to keep the fuss factor to a minimum. Still I wasn’t sure how it was going to work. As soon as I walked into Great Clips (with my meager allowance from Jen and a coupon it is all I could afford) the women started bending over to cater to Xander and I. They moved a chair over so I could put his carrier in it and faced mine so he and I could watch each other during my haircut. One by one the other stylist would come up to tell me how cute I was. Okay maybe they said he was cute but that’s not how I heard it!!!! I would have written this off as working me for a better tip if it wasn’t for what happened at the grocery store later that day. When I was waiting in the checkout line ( Xander in one arm pushing the cart with the other) the cart traffic control lady opened up a new lane so I wouldn’t have to wait. Then another lady came up and asked if she could unload my cart onto the belt. Finally another lady asked if she could bag my groceries for me (FYI we were at Bigg’s which has a bag your own policy). If it were tiny Jen there dragging Megan away form the Isle o’ sugar and Xander screaming his lungs out people would have thought “She’s a mother, she can handle it”. When a big dumb guy with an itty-bitty baby goes anywhere everyone assumes (and rightfully so) we need help. It doesn’t matter what we are doing. A guy could have a blind nun in a choke hold and be kicking a homeless senior citizen but if he is holding a baby some nice lady is going to come over to help him. Wait a minute…….that gives me an idea. All I need is a baby, a puppy and a Boy Band. Leave me at home with a baby will she. I’ll take over the world!!!!!!