David plays Dr Seuss

I bet you all are wondering how things are going over here at Casa de Megan with Jen doing the stay at home thing. I know it started out rocky (see previous post) but we are hitting our stride now. The first thing we had to do was make sure you know who was not bored all day. We signed up for BPTV (Brad Pitt Television) and that seems to keep Jen happy. I guess bedtime is the most organized so far. First it is a bath for Megan. Jen usually does this but if I can’t roust her from her Bon-Bon and Brad induced coma I will give Megan her bath. (Note: I have scaled back the super hero duck thing). If Jen gives Megan a bath I go work out or get in my tanning bed. That’s right I said “my tanning bed”. You think that’s funny ? You try to live with the constant fear of the “mailman tan”! After the bath Megan is my responsibility while Jen takes her shower. I think my thoughts on pre-bed time activities are best described by a Seuss-ian poem.

Each night you want the same old book
About princesses, stuffed bears or Captain Hook

I’m bored with Tigger, Owl and Roo
The timid of Piglet and honey Pooh!

No more Snow White, Cinderella or Belle
How many times can the same story they tell

No more one fish nor two , no more red fish or blue
No more about Horton or his pals the Who!!

I know you love them my dearest sweet Megan
But tonight something new on my knees I am beggin’

If we play a new game that leads too much laughter
You will help this Prince live happily ever after…


In my defense I would like to point out that if Megan really wants a story read I acquiesce for two simple reasons. 1) Megan is a tattle tale. 2) The couch is lumpy.
This brings me to the real reason for this post. Megan is a NUTBUCKET!!!! I was in the army and have jumped out of and off of a whole lot of stuff. Parachute? Check! Bungee jump? Ditto! Repel? Been there done that. Never the least bit scared. What scares me is a three year old leaping from her bed as far out as she can and doing a kind of two legged then face plant landing. I’m a guy so if you think I’m going to discourage this kind behavior you are nuts. I did decide to try to make it safer. (I like to keep things fun but I also like to keep things out of the “grounds for divorce column), so I folded up and piled up my sleeping bag and futon then topped it off with my folded up down comforter. I thought she would still try to land on her feet. What was I thinking!! Full layout Superman into the pile of fluff. I haven’t seen such precision laundry diving since Snuggles the fabric softener bear took a header into the laundry basket. Don’t get me wrong I completely get the appeal of diving into an engulfing pile of fluff. My question is why does it have to be done naked? Every night I try to get her to put her nightgown on before we “fly” but as of yet I have not been able to convince her. I even tried the princess nightgown. If you put a picture of a princess on a can a spinach Megan will eat it! But even that did not work. I’m not sure if it is an aerodynamics thing or if it’s an “I’m three years, old buck naked is fun” thing. I do know that I took pictures and they are coming out most likely when she brings her Prom date over. Megan has been great so far but I am sure she will do something to deserve the horrific em-bare-ass-ment and I just want to be ahead of the game!!