Grumpy pregnant woman (aka Burden on David)

Shhhhhhhh!!! It sleeps and I dare not wake it. Someone should have told me about these horrific hormonal mood swings that accompany pregnancy. One minute Jen is a grumpy pregnant woman and the next she’s spawn of Satan. I’m still waiting for the pendulum to swing back the other direction but it hasn’t happened so far. The other day I called her “Fatty Fatty Two by Four” and she got upset. Can you believe that? How is that not funny? A couple minutes later I told her “I have to go work on the house. The kitchen door needs to be widened”. I found this to be hilarious but she hit me. Which is not funny as I am dainty and bruise easy!! The worst part of the whole ordeal, I mean miracle of birth, is always having to go out and get stuff to satisfy her cravings. Maybe one of you ladies can tell me. Are Marlboro Lights Menthols and Jack Daniels normal pregnancy cravings? I wish I could write more but Jen says if I do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, mow the lawn, clean out the cinders and paint the house, I can watch a half hour of TV while I massage her swollen feet!! Oh no!!! I think she is waking up I can hear the growl. Please don’t tell her I was on here she’ll make me watch the tape of Megan being born again. Why oh why did I buy a big screen TV!!!